Grammys For Your Granny!

While clawing my eyes out watching the Grammy’s last night, I realized that my favorite category, "Best Native American Album," was one of those awards given before the show at a Denny’s in Louisville, Kentucky.

I also decided to look up what band had won for Best Metal Performance (whatever the fuck that truly means). Your answer: Slayer. Respectable…though it would have made more sense 10 years ago, before they decided to release an album that most metal aficionados would agree sounds worse than the death rattles of small babies.

Nine Inch Nails, Korn, Slipknot, Tool: all past winners; all just BARELY "metal." And then, of course, there’s Linkin Park and Evanescence. I'm pretty much nauseated at this point. And if that's not enough, for whatever reason, Black Sabbath won in 2000 for “Iron Man”. Did every Metal band take a nap that year?!?

But the one “Performance” that blew my mind was that of a band I love. The year was 1991 and the band was…Queen. The only thing ”metal” about this band was the mass of rhinestones adorning Freddie Mercury’s codpiece.

Grammy’s, you so silly! Now I just want to know where my “J-Pop/Emo Fusion Performance” category is…