Monday, January 8, 2007

Red Hot Bullshit Peppers

Mother's Milk was the shit when it was released in 1989. Two years later, Blood Sugar Sex Magik followed, showing very awesome promise for the Chili Peppers. And, being a drummer myself, I dig Chad Smith (who looks scarily like Will Ferrell in that picture). And Flea is pretty awesome, too. But you know what? I'm fucking tired of these shitbags, straight up. My ears continue to bleed every time I hear something from this poop-juggernaut of a band. Let's examine the lyrics to "Snow."

Come to decide that the things that I tried
Were in my life just to get high on
When I sit alone come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time

Step from the road to the sea to the sky

And I do believe that we rely on

When I lay it on
Come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice

I would rather watch an infant drown than read that passage again. It was all I could do to even paste it here. And here comes the spectacular chorus:

Hey oh listen what I say oh
I got your

Hey oh now listen what I say oh

Are you fucking kidding me? Please, tell me these guys are playing a joke on us. You got my what? You got my hey oh? What the fuck is a hey oh?

When will I know that I really can't go
To the well once more time to decide on

When it's killing me

"Time to decide on when it's killing me." Sure.

When will I really see
All that I need to look inside

Come to believe that I better not leave
Before I get my chance to ride
When it's killing me

What do I really need

All that I need to look inside

This entire song is just an absolute train wreck. With a plane crash on top of the train. And then the creme de la creme:

Hey oh listen what I say oh
Come back and
Hey oh lookey what I say oh

Come back aaaaand ____...?????? And that's right - "Lookey." Not only can I not "lookey" at something you say, but I would probably kick in the nuts or vagina the person using "lookey" seriously. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the freedom of art. But son of a bitch this is bad.

There are more lyrics - a hair tearing amount more - but I just can't go on. Even blogging this much in depth about it has brought me to nausea.

Fuck the Chili Peppers.



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